Miracle Maggie

Scrooge

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 19:19:00 +0000

Call it the Winter Blues. Call it the Bah Humbugs. But I just don't feel like talking to anyone right now. Or blogging. Which is why I haven't posted in some time.

Maggie's doing about the same. She's teething, so that's made feeding more difficult. She tries, the poor kid. But that hyper-gag reflex is our nemesis.

She and I are both currently fighting colds, and truly, she's far more cheery a patient than I.

Here are some pictures from this month-- Christmas tree shopping and decorating, the Please Touch Museum with my dear "online-turned-real" friends Anne, Abby, and Sharon (and their former preemie sweeties), and waiting for Santa to drive by in his firetruck.

DECEMBER 2009 PICTURES <------ click here

~Sara

Approaching The Curve

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:42:00 +0000

Today, I took Maggie for her {gasp} 18 month check up at the pediatrician. Drumroll please:

18 pounds, 15 ounces (still not on the growth curve at all, but getting closer!!!)
30 inches long (10th percentile)
17 inches head circumference (5th percentile)

Dr. Meyer was very pleased with Maggie's progress. Instead of seeing her in 6 months, for her 2 year visit, however, he'd like to see her in 3 months to keep an eye on her growth.

Maggie had an uneventful Halloween. She boycotted her afternoon nap, and ended up falling asleep at 5:30pm. Poor kid pretty much slept through all the Trick or Treating!!

Earlier in the month, we celebrated my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary with a party in Cape Cod. Below are some pictures from the party, as well as a couple of our Fairy Princess on Halloween!

Smiling Fairy:
Playing with Grandma's cool toys:
Sitting pretty for pictures at Grandma and Grandpa's:
"Talking" on Grandma's cell phone at the Anniversary Party:
With Mommy:
With the guests of honor:
~Sara

Wanted: A Thicker Skin

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 02:10:00 +0000

I am not brave.

While leaving for my High School Senior Awards Banquet, I drove through our garage door. (That's enough snickering, you.) The how and why aren't really important here, but I backed right into that sucker. The minute I heard the metal crush and the glass crash, I went numb. Pull the car forward. Get out of the car. Look at the back end of the car. Do not step on the glass. Go upstairs. Call Mom and Dad at work (this was clearly pre-cell phone era). Call boyfriend since I can't get Mom and Dad. Go back downstairs and wait. Once the initial shock wore off, I panicked. I stood there, cartoon-like, rubbing my eyes and blinking hard in the attempt to make the scene disappear. Then I promptly threw up on my front lawn.

I am not brave.

When I was in graduate school, I worked at the University of Pennsylvania in their very busy Labor and Delivery Unit. One night, an emergency bell was sounded from one of the delivery rooms. When you are an L&D nurse, you simply run. You are wired differently than other people. While most people would run FROM an emergency, when you are an L&D nurse, you run towards the commotion. You just do. Since I had NICU experience (No, the irony isn't lost on me either), I went directly to the infant warmer bed to assess the baby. He was grey-- not blue. He was past blue. Again, I went numb. Check the cord for his heart rate. Good rate. Turn him so that his head is to my body so his airway is easier to access. Reposition his head. Flick his feet, rub his back. Grab the ambu bag. Turn on the O2. Pinky finger under his chin, tilt the airway open. Seal the mask around nose and mouth. Positive Pressure first. Still no spontaneous respirations. Check the cord. Good rate. Bag him. Not too hard, don't blow his lungs. Bark out orders- call PEDS now, we need them 5 mins ago. Small respiratory efforts. One minute in. Mentally mark the time. Weak cry. Starting to pink up. Here comes PEDS, let them take him. As I stepped away from the bed, the Neonatology Attending looked at me and said, "Excellent job. You did great." I smiled, calmly left the room, then ran to the locker room and cried for 5 minutes straight.

I am not brave.

At 25 & 6/7 weeks, my water broke and Maggie was on her way. After and initial string of expletives, again the numbness set in. Call Dan. Call Mom. Call Beth. Call. Call. Call. Get in the car with Pam. Breathe. Stay calm. Breathe. Change into gown. Hook up to monitors. Watch for contractions. Breathe. Here's the IV. Fluids will help wash out the contractions. Get ready for 8 weeks of bed rest. First Ambulance ride. Small talk with EMT. Breathe. Give my own report at the (VERY YOUNG ALMOST TEENAGE LOOKING) resident who meets me in the hallway. Watch TV. Watch the Mag Drip. Stay completely still in the bed. Try not to pay attention to the contractions. Breathe. This position is really uncomfortable. Ring the nurse. Turn to my left side. Sneeze. Oh God, I sneezed. Big gush of fluid. Lots of pressure. Baby's coming. Same resident checks me. Five centimeters. FIVE. There is no going back now. And I begin to howl. Not cry. Not sob. Howl. At the top of my lungs.

I am not brave.

On Friday, I noticed Maggie's GTube was leaking. The tube needs to be changed every four months, and it was time. So I planned to change the tube Friday night, when we arrived at my aunt's house for the weekend. We arrived late, and while I had an extra tube with me, I didn't have all the supplies I needed. I decided to wait until Saturday morning, after Dan was able to go to CVS for me. I rocked Maggie to sleep, and put her upstairs in the crib. After a couple of hours, she woke up crying. I took her out of the crib and settled her down again. She fell asleep, and I put her back in the crib. She was quiet for a couple of minutes, then started crying again. It was late, I was tired. "Honest. To. God. Maggie. It is 1:30 in the morning. If you don't stop crying and go to sleep, I'll..." (What I said after the dot-dot-dot probably does NOT qualify me for mother of the year, incidentally.) I let her cry for a few more seconds, then went to get her. As I lifted a screaming Maggie from the crib, I noticed that the pump tubing was not attached to her belly. "Great. Just great. Now I'm going to have to clean up a mess." I went to reconnect the tubing, and found that Maggie's entire GTube had come out. Keep in mind that the GTube is held in place in Maggie's stomach by an inflated balloon. The balloon is about the size of a quarter. The hole in Maggie's belly is the size of a pencil. I panicked when I realized that the balloon was still intact, but outside of Maggie's body. Scoop up the baby. Wake up Dan. Run downstairs. Get some warm water to wipe up the stomach acid and undigested formula that are leaking from the hole in her belly. Hope her skin isn't burning. Test the new balloon. We have no lubricant. Steady pressure, follow the tract, hold her down so it will go in. Don't pay attention to her screams. Inflate the new balloon. Scoop her up, comfort her, whisper in her ear. Ok, ok. We're done. That's all. I'm so sorry, Magoo. I'm so sorry. My mother happened to get up right as I was bringing Maggie back upstairs. I told her what happened, and started to shake. She held me while I shook and cried. I didn't sleep the rest of the night.

I am not brave.

~Sara

Better than Letterman

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:46:00 +0000

Top Ten Things To Do During Your First 103 Degree Fever
as told to Mommy by Maggie Daley

10) Act completely healthy so that your mom takes you to the mall all day before she figures out you're sick.

9) Wake up from your nap really grumpy and ON FIRE so your mom has to take your temperature and give you Tylenol.

8) Go to bed at the regular time, only to wake up 2 hours later even HOTTER than before. Make your mom call the pediatrician at 11:30 at night.

7) Scream like you're dying during the cool bath your Dad puts you in at 11:30 at night.

6) Wake up at 5am, and make your mom take you downstairs to sleep with her on the couch.

5) Don't sleep on the couch. Watch the same 3 episodes of "Miss Spider's Sunny Patch" over and over again.

4) Look extra pathetic when Grandma comes over so she'll buy you a present.

3) Scream like someone's pulling out your toenails when your mom wipes your runny nose.

2) Convince your mom your brain cells are frying by talking in your sleep and looking at her like you don't recognize her.

And The Number One Thing To Do During Your First 103 Degree Fever Is:

1) Make a game out of pulling all the Kleenex out of the box one by one. Your mom won't yell at you because you're so sick and she feels bad for you!

~Maggie, as told in a fevered haze to her mommy

Well, as long as she LOOKS good...

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 22:48:00 +0000

Here's the link to the Orthotics that Maggie will have. They look different (read: better) than I had anticipated. For now, she will have the ankle ones. If, as she gets older, she still is having trouble with walking and standing, she may need the longer ones.

I got them with ladybugs and butterflies and little pink straps. FASHION FIRST, people!

http://www.surestep.net/smo.php

~Sara

Ease On Down Those Barbie Toes

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 12:58:00 +0000

Maggie is crawling everywhere! It started slowly, but over the last few weeks, my Peanut is UNSTOPPABLE! It's been really fun to watch her explore her world in a different way. It must be so liberating for her! And, while it means that I have to chase her around to make sure she's not getting into something she shouldn't, I am SO PROUD of her! Maggie is also beginning to pull up to stand. She is still extremely wobbly, and her muscles aren't strong enough to support her body for long periods of time. It seems like her ankles and knees buckle, and after a moment or two, she collapses to the ground. She reminds me of Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz, right after he gets off his perch!

Our Physical Therapist, Christie, is also concerned about Maggie's lack of muscle tone. Evidently, hypotonia is common in preemies. Regular PT will help build Maggie's muscle strength. The problem with her pulling to stand when she is so weak, is that she does it incorrectly. Because she is so unstable, Maggie flexes EVERY muscle in her body to stand; she gets rigid in order to stay upright. Unfortunately, this means that she does alot of "toe standing". Think Barbie:

Maggie needs to learn to bear weight through her legs and heels. The longer she stands on tip toes, the more chance there is that her Achilles' Tendons will shorten, causing permanent damage. There is a surgery that could release her tendons if necessary, but obviously, we would like to avoid another surgery altogether. So, next week, little Peanut will be measured for leg orthotics. They will extend from the back of her calf, flex her ankle and wrap under her heel. This will force Maggie to put her heels down when she is standing, and hopefully get her closer to being able to stand independently, and eventually learn to walk.

I don't know how long Maggie will have to wear the leg braces. I guess it just depends on how she does. We will be adding monthly in-home Physical Therapy, in addition to our twice monthly regular physical therapy, just to make sure Maggie is adjusting to the braces in her home environment. I'm a little overwhelmed with the news of the leg orthotics, and the addition of yet *another* appointment. So far, we're up to OT every week, Speech every week, PT twice monthly (and now a second PT monthly), GI every 2 months, Feeding Clinic every 3 months, Developmental Peds every 3 months, and regular well-child visits with our own pediatrician in between. Oh, and I'm still working 3 days a week, so I cram all the appointments into the other 2 days.

It does seem that the surgery was the right choice for Maggie, though. She has gained 5 pounds in the three months since surgery, and weighed 18 pounds 9 ounces at our last doctor's visit. She has thrown up twice since that first time in the beginning of September, but it doesn't seem to be a repetitive problem. She is still struggling to eat, and takes about 1-2 ounces of formula by bottle, and maybe 2-3 tablespoons of baby food at a time. She still refuses any table food, and anything with texture still causes quite a gag reflex. We are working with our Speech Therapist, but it seems that time is the only thing that will really make a difference. Maggie can now swallow one or 2 little "puffs" without too much drama, and, when hungry, actively puts them into her mouth (a BIG thing for a kid with oral aversion).

I struggle with frustration over the whole eating thing. Most of the time, I am able to be patient and positive with her, but I find myself saying things like "It's just FOOD! Just eat it!" And, of course, feel terrible. It's not her fault. She is trying her best. But when a "feeding" is 15 agonizing minutes to get her to take 10 bites of puree, then 15 mins of persuading her to take an ounce of formula, then 20 mins of trying to get her to sit still long enough to finish the rest of the feeding via tube: well, it's just plain frustrating.

Lest you think I am in the depths of a preemie-mom melt down, I am proud to tell you all of my Magoo's accomplishments. Maggie is the sweetest, funniest, smiliest, calmest, NOSY-EST (others might call it curiosity, but really she's just nosey) baby in the world. She has started to hug me now when I see her in the morning, or when I pick her up from the babysitter. She still only says a few words, like Daddy and Doggie and Baba (bottle). But every once in a while, particularly when she's upset or crying, I'll get a good "Ma. Ma. Ma!" She knows a few signs, like "light", "bubbles", and of course the ever popular "All done!" She thinks she's smart, and the minute her cute little butt touches the dreaded high chair for a feeding, it's "All done!" left and right. (I've politely informed her that *I* will determine when she is, indeed, "All done!") She loves to look at books, loves to dance, and has started to show some interest in kiddie TV shows (The Wonder Pets, Backyardigans, Sesame Street, and Miss Spider are the only ones that hold her attention longer than 17 seconds).

She loves music and singing. One night, when I was rocking her in her room, she started to hum. At first, I thought she was just soothing herself to sleep, but she was looking up at me and humming louder and louder, almost trying to get my attention. I realized that Maggie was asking me to sing to her. The minute I started to sing, she got quiet, and stroked my cheek with her hand. I could barely keep from crying to finish the song. Her favorite is the Lullaby from Mary Poppins: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPw6QBSggls
(those of you that know me, know I can actually give Julie Andrews a run for her money).

Moments like that make it all worth while...

~Sara

Pictures Galore (You're welcome.)

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 22:33:00 +0000

I've been remiss in posting photos. So here they are. You can double click on the slide shows to see the photos larger. Enjoy!!

Cape Cod 2009

September 2009 (including our trip to Massachusetts to visit Auntie Beth)

~Sara

The Impossible

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 00:05:00 +0000

One might say my daughter has never been one to follow the rules.

When Maggie was discharged from the hospital after her surgery, the surgeon gave me quite a long lecture on the risks of Maggie gagging, retching, and attempting to vomit. The Nissen Fundoplication is not armor, he said. Every time Maggie gags it puts pressure on the internal sutures, and could cause the surgery to fail. She will not be able to burp, and it will be impossible for her to vomit. Someday, YEARS FROM NOW, the surgery may loosen enough for her to do so. But not for a very long time.

How about 9 weeks? Is that a very long time?

On Sunday (a holiday weekend, of course), about 2 hours after her morning feeding, Maggie threw up all over me. It wasn't as large or projectile as she was previously capable of. But it was definite vomiting. Which, as you just read, is pretty much illegal for a post-Nissen kid.

Needless to say, I panicked. What if the surgery failed? What if we were back to square one? What if she began losing weight? What if? What if? What IF?

We called our regular pediatrician (as we had just spoken to the surgical resident the night before about some weepy blisters and redness around the G-Tube site), who told us to watch for any "repeat performances". So I did. Every cough made my heart race. Every gag brought tears to my eyes. But Maggie didn't vomit again.

We called the surgeon's office on Tuesday, and the nurse got us an appointment today. After waiting over an hour (!), we finally saw one of the surgical attending physicians. She said that *she* never would have told me that vomiting is "impossible". Well, your PARTNER told me that, and that's why we're here, thankyouverymuch. She said that the Nissen wrap can't be airtight because food wouldn't be able to get INTO the stomach. Especially in champion pukers like our girl, vomiting is rare, but indeed possible. She went on to say that Maggie may vomit again. But as long as it isn't repetitive, and her belly remains soft, it probably doesn't mean the surgery has failed.

The redness and blisters around Maggie's G-Tube site are likely stomach acid burns. Oh, wonderful. My poor baby has BURNS on her skin from stomach acid. Ick. I will continue to treat it at home topically, with Neosporin or Bacitracin ointment. Once the area is healed, I can use Vaseline or even Desitin as a protective barrier around the tube.

I knew, when she came into the world at 26 weeks, that my Magoo was going to be a handful. Someone remind her of all this when she's 12 and hates my guts...

~Sara

Bad Blogger, Bad!

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 10:05:00 +0000

It has come to my attention that I have been neglecting my blog.

I've been thinking over the last couple of days about why that is.

1) I think I'm convinced that there is only one person that ever reads this. (Ok, maybe two)

2) I've been having a tough time of it lately, and we all (the three of us reading this anyway) know that I usually go into hiding when that happens.

3) When I get into a better "head space", I tend to write more.

So, bear with me, you two. Pictures and news soon. Know that Magoo is doing just fine. And the mama is hanging in there, too.

~Sara

Nursemaid's Elbow

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 22:46:00 +0000

We sadly left Cape Cod yesterday afternoon, and because the trip all the way back to PA is such a long one, decided to stay overnight with our dear friends, The Bilodeau's, in CT. Traffic getting off the Cape was murder, but we made it in time to share a great BBQ chicken cook-out with Brandon, Liz, Luke, and Kyle.

We got all the kids bathed and ready for bed, and Liz and I prepared to tuck ourselves in on the couch with some wine and conversation. After about 10 mins, it became clear that the extra nap Maggie took while we were fighting Cape Cod traffic meant that she was NOT going to sleep anytime soon.

The four of us were sitting in the living room, watching Maggie play. She was trying to creep and pull up on the couch. Dan had her standing in front of him, and she was bouncing and laughing. Suddenly, she lost her balance, and swung to one side. To catch her before she fell, Dan grabbed hard onto her left arm, and it twisted sharply.

Poor Magoo let out a shriek! She was really crying, and I knew she was in alot of pain. Now, you have all heard me talk about how Maggie DOES NOT CRY. This is NOT an exaggeration. She whines a little when she's tired, but only cries when she is in a considerable amount of pain. The screams after the "almost fall" were close to what I heard in the 2 days immediately after surgery. She wasn't using her left arm at all; it hung limp at her side as her right hand clawed at my arms in pain. She screamed louder every time I touched her left arm, and couldn't even tolerate an ice pack. After about 30 mins of being inconsolable, we decided to take Maggie to the urgent care facility down the street.

We piled in the car, and Maggie continued to scream. It felt like we drove for 2 hours, though I'm sure we got there in less than 10 mins. At one point, Maggie had moved her arm to get away from the ice pack. I carefully lifted it back up, and she let out a howl! I felt terrible, but knew the ice was the best thing to do.

All I could think on the way there was Maggie's nutritional deficits, and how it might affect her ability to withstand injury. I thought back to her discharge from the NICU, when they were so concerned about Osteopenia of Prematurity (thinning of the bones). It was all I could do to keep from crying. I sang "Winnie the Pooh" over and over again, in the hopes of quieting her down.

By the time we arrived, Maggie actually seemed better. By the time we filled out our paper work, Maggie was using her left hand to pull at the ID bracelet we got during check-in. By the time the doctor came into see us, Maggie was banging her left hand against the chair we were sitting in.

Kind of like when your car makes that awful noise, but stops immediately when you take it into the shop....

After I finished apologizing to the doctor, "Really, she's completely fine now. I'm sorry to be wasting your time.", he explained that Maggie had suffered a "Nursemaid's elbow". When Dan caught her by the arm to prevent her from falling, the little bones in her elbow separated, and the ligaments slipped in between. The pinched ligaments hurt like crazy, and often render the arm immobile. Much of the time, the doctor needs to "reset" the joint (pop it back into place). Occasionally, the joint can self correct. Apparently, when I lifted Maggie's arm in the car to put the ice pack back on, I inadvertently fixed Maggie's elbow. (Go Mommy!)

We were discharged with instructions to "keep an eye on it" and give Maggie Tylenol as needed. She was sleeping peacefully in the car before we were 3 minutes down the road.

The irony of the situation was not lost on me: The first "emergency" we had with Maggie had NOTHING to do with feeding issues, GTubes, or really anything related to her prematurity.

And who'd have thought that it would take an Emergency Room visit to push us even further into the realm of "normal" babyhood?!?!?!

~Sara

Happy Second 1st Birthday, Maggie!

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 01:50:00 +0000

Is it just me, or is this cake addressed to "Meggie"? (I'm sure there's a story there somewhere, but we'd have to ask my mom...)

One year ago today, I brought my Miracle Maggie home from the hospital. One hundred and five long days and nights spent praying, begging, crying, missing her, looking at her empty crib, clothes hanging in the closet unworn... and I finally got to take her home.

I have to admit, today actually means MORE to me than her actual birthday, in a weird way. After Maggie was born, she didn't feel like mine. When she was six days old, and I held her, I fell in love with her. I wanted her to be mine, but she still wasn't, really. I had no power over when to hold her, when to change her diaper, or how much she ate. I was her mother, supposedly, but other people were raising her. Even though I visited every day, she spent more time with her nurses than she did with me. Every time I held her, I felt the need to introduce myself to her again "Hi. I'm your mom. Remember me?"

But a year ago, we put her in the car, and pulled out of Lankenau Hospital's driveway. I was shaking, with excitement AND fear. I half-expected alarms to go off as we crossed the threshold onto the street, or for police cars to follow behind us and ask us to pull over. I half-expected someone to rush out of the hospital entrance and say, "There's been a mistake. You have to bring her back in."

Celebrating Maggie's real birthday in May was actually really painful for me. I relived the fearful hours before her birth, the fear of losing her still so fresh. I struggled with guilt-- I cannot help but feel that my body somehow failed her, and therefore *I* had somehow failed her. The anniversary of Maggie's birth was admittedly NOT a very happy day for me.

Today, I got to celebrate. I felt the joy that I should have felt on May 1st. We had a party with close family and friends here in Cape Cod. We bought a cake. We let her put her hands in the frosting (which she was a little more interested in than in May), took pictures, and celebrated our miracle. We celebrated the anniversary of welcoming Maggie into our family forever. I smiled. I laughed. I did NOT cry. I did NOT feel sad. I did NOT feel like a failure. Today, I remembered the 1 pound, 9 ounce baby that was born in May last year and thought "HA! We did it!" Today was a good day. Today was a special day.

And so, EVERY year, our girl will have a "second birthday"-- if not for HER, then for me.

~Sara

Vacation and An Anniversary

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 23:11:00 +0000

This week, we are up in Cape Cod, Massachusetts visiting my grandparents. Maggie is having a wonderful time so far. Above is her second day on the Cape- at Skaket Beach. You can tell by the look on her face that she isn't exactly happy about the sand. We think that she thinks it's "dirty", as every time any part of her body comes in contact with it, she wrinkles her nose, shakes said body part, and looks at us like "Get it off. Get it OFF. NO REALLY, GET IT OFF!" Sadly, no sandcastles for Magoo this year!

Maggie has been doing a little better with her feeding these last couple of weeks. She is now taking about a tablespoon or so of baby food, about an ounce and a half from the bottle, and is exploring alot of new textures with table food. Just last night, I broke up some of those Gerber puffs into small pieces for her. Maggie put some in her mouth, made chewing motions with her jaw, and actually swallowed a couple! This was HUGE. Anyone who has experienced a kid with an oral aversion knows that I am NOT exaggerating when I say that I have NEVER seen Maggie chew ANYTHING in her life. It was really encouraging. She does tend to gag a little more on the puffs if it gets caught in the back of her throat, so that has limited her desire to eat them, but it's wonderful to see her so interested in a food (as much as a puff can count as food), self guide it to her mouth, chew and swallow! It is painfully slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

We expect the good weather up here to continue for most of our week. On Friday night, the whole family is taking Maggie to Chatham, to experience her first Chatham Band Concert. Every Friday night during the summer, the Chatham Town Band gives a concert. They wear old fashioned red band uniforms with big hats, and the conductor wears white. They do a whole "dance" section for the kids, complete with the Bunny Hop and a sing along. It is a family tradition of ours since my childhood to go to the Chatham Band Concert every Friday night, and it's one of the things I have dreamed about for Maggie since she was born.

Speaking of NICU time, Maggie will celebrate her one year "home birthday". We brought her home from the hospital a year ago this Thursday the 13th. We plan to get a cake and really celebrate! This day is just as important as her birthday; to me, it's the day she "officially" became ours.

I'll post some pictures when we return home next week. Thanks for checking in on our girl.

~Sara

Best Birthday Gift EVER

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 23:05:00 +0000

For Maggie's first birthday, my co-workers took up a very generous collection so that I could have Maggie's pictures taken. I wasn't able to take her for the traditional birth, 3-, 6-, 9-, and 12- month pictures because of the risk of infection with other kids being around, and I really wanted to do something special for her.

Well.......

I am just overwhelmed by the pictures taken today by our wonderful photographer, Jennifer. Jen was so easy to work with, and Maggie warmed right up to her!

We won't have the proofs for about 4 weeks, but here is a sneak peek:
http://www.jenniferbretonphotography.com/blog/?p=716

When we get the proofs, there will be an online album, and anyone who is interested in ordering prints can either let me know or you may be able to order directly from Jen.

~Sara

I don't "do" quiet very well...

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 22:39:00 +0000

For me, the worst part of Maggie's developmental assessment is having to sit there quietly.

Every 6 months, when I bring her to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, Maggie is given a series of tasks to complete, the OT quietly nods her head and marks her paper, and says things like "Good try, Maggie".

And the whole time, I have to sit there quietly. When I know Maggie WOULD turn her head when the therapist calls her name, except she's too busy playing with the seat belt buckle on the chair they put her in. When I know she COULD say more than "dadadadada", but had to miss her morning nap for the appointment and when she's tired or overwhelmed she doesn't say much else. When I know that she CAN put the blocks back in the bucket, but she's too interested in the ID badge dangling from the therapist's neck. When I have SEEN her pincer-grip cheerios like a pro a hundred times, but she's just pushing them around the table because they just took that cool squeaky duck away and she's annoyed.

The second worst part about the developmental assessment is when the OT says, "I'm just going to step out and score her". That's when I sit there and over-analyze everything Maggie did and did not do. And I wonder which tests she was "supposed" to pass, and which ones were thrown in to "challenge" her. It's incredibly nerve-wracking for me. Good thing Magoo was too busy rolling around on the floor to notice. Especially since she refused to do so during the actual test.

According to the therapist, Maggie's cognitive abilities are absolutely appropriate for her corrected age. (Smart: check). Maggie's fine motor skills are also where they should be. (Detail Oriented: check). Maggie's verbal skills are on the lower end of normal. (Chatty Cathy: check). As an aside, I beg to differ on the "lower end" part of that statement, because I KNOW she said "doggie" on more than one occasion, and I have witnesses! Maggie's delays still lie in the gross motor areas like crawling, creeping, walking, etc. (Athlete: notsomuch). She is testing at a 7 month level, when she should be at an 11-12 month corrected level.

For this reason, the developmental pediatrician has recommended we start formal Physical Therapy, instead of Occupational Therapy. OT is a little more broad, and that focuses on all of Maggie's skills-- eating, fine motor, gross motor. But they feel that Maggie would benefit from the focus a PT can offer in addressing her gross motor delays.

The one good thing about the developmental assessment every 6 months is that we get to talk to my absolute FAVORITE pediatrician, Dr. Judy Bernbaum. Even though we only see her every few months, she knows Maggie almost as well as I do. She has always been the one to take charge of Maggie's feeding issues. She even requests that I call her monthly with an update on Maggie's weight and eating progress. I have a downright Doctor Crush on this woman, I swear. She is realistic, down to earth, intelligent, compassionate, non-patronizing, and experienced.

Dr. B was so pleased with Maggie's progress since the surgery! We all did a little dance of joy about her weight gain. She feels that, while Maggie's gross motor delays are "significant", her continued weight gain will mean the muscle mass and strength Maggie needs to get back on track. (Though she may never run Track, but whatever...)

Dr. B also helped tailor Maggie's feeding regimen with the GTube. In the next couple of weeks, once Maggie is one year "corrected" age, we need to stop feeding her infant formula. Dr. B gave me a prescription for Nutren Jr. formula, which is nutritionally formulated for older babies, and has more calories per ounce. This means we can decrease the volume Maggie is fed in the overnight feeding. Which may mean that she gets hungrier during the day. We will also continue to give her 4 bolus feedings during the day.

When I took Maggie back to Speech Therapy on Wednesday, Dahlia and I discussed that for the daytime feedings, we will offer Maggie baby food for 10 mins, then the bottle for 10 mins, then tube feed the rest. Dr. B was really pleased with this plan, and wants me to keep her updated on Maggie's progress.

So after a long and draining day, I'm sitting here on the couch typing an update. And Maggie is babbling away, using more than just one syllable, pushing herself with her legs and rolling all over the floor....

~Sara

We just didn't know...

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 18:47:00 +0000

... how many calories our poor Peanut was losing with her vomiting!

I took Maggie to the pediatrician this morning. She has been congested for a few days, and unfortunately, it seems to make the gagging/wretching worse. So we called the surgeon, who told us to get Maggie checked out with our regular pediatrician. The doctor said that Maggie does not have any lung involvement, and also does not have ear infections. Right now, it just seems to be nasal congestion. We'll treat it with a humidifier and keeping her elevated, as there isn't much else to do. Since it is more than likely viral, she won't need antibiotics at this point. (And it's important to note that she doesn't SEEM sick to me. Just really really stuffy...)

I'm thankful that it's nothing more serious-- we really have managed to dodge alot of bullets when it comes to Peanut's compromised immune system! Knock wood, she hasn't been sick since we brought her home last year!

But the very best news of all is that Maggie weighs 15 POUNDS now!!!!!! I simply cannot believe it! She was around 13 pounds, 10 ounces just before her surgery, so having the Nissen done to stop the vomiting seems to be the right thing! I am relieved. I guess we just never understood quite how much she was throwing up. I'm so happy that it seems we are on our way to having a nice fat baby on our hands!

And so, Faithful Reader, I leave you with our old cheer from NICU days, when Magoo was only 2 pounds: GO, FAT GIRL, GO!!!

~Sara

Surprises and Swimming

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 00:47:00 +0000

The other night, Maggie was uncharacteristically fussy. She whined. And whined. And whined. AND WHINED. (I thought I was going to throw her out the window, honestly.) We finally got her to go to sleep, and the next morning, she was fine. I was playing with her after her feeding, and as usual, Maggie was putting EVERYTHING in her mouth. She grabbed my fingers and started chewing on them, and suddenly she bit me! I thought, "What the heck IS that in your mouth?" Well, Peanut is cutting her first tooth! No wonder she was so fussy the night before!

This afternoon, Maggie and I went to my friend Beth's baby shower. Our hostess, Eileen, has a wonderful in-ground pool in the back yard, so Peanut got to put on her bathing suit and go swimming for the first time! She had a great time splashing and she even tried to paddle (with only one arm, but whatever...). She really seemed to love it! Eileen's family has a yellow lab that looks really similar to Ben, and Maggie just loved her! She watched Lizzie and kept saying "Da Da Da Da". All of a sudden, Maggie said "DOG-GIE"! I looked at Eileen, who was with us in the pool, and said "Did you just hear what I think I heard???" I wasn't convinced. Maybe it was just a fluke?

When I got home this evening, Maggie was so excited to see Ben. Again, "Da Da Da Da" as she watched Ben in the kitchen. So I said "Maggie, watch Mommy. Like this: DOG-GIE". Maggie smiled, giggled, and said clear as day "DOG-GIE"!! And she has kept saying it all evening. It's the sweetest thing I've ever heard. Her little voice. I imagine what it will be like to hear her say "Mommy" or "I love you". I'm tearing up just thinking about it. How far we've come from this time last year!!!

So here are the pictures from this afternoon's fun. (And, despite losing 33 pounds since late February, I am mortified that I'm posting pictures of ME in a bathing suit!):

Maggie getting her dinner feeding through the GTube. It's healing nicely: "Yay for Pool Parties!" with my dear friend Emily:

Isn't her bathing suit just the sweetest thing?:

The first dip:

Michael Phelps, eat your heart out!

Playing with my good friend, Mary, and her daughter, Avery:

Mommy & Maggie:

Maggie playing with the guest of honor, Beth (and Lucy, who's due to arrive in August):

~Sara

4th of July

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 01:34:00 +0000

Here are some pictures from July 4th weekend!

Auntie Mare & Magoo: Maggie & Uncle Carl:

Clipping coupons:

Say "CHEESE!":

Mama & Maggie in Grandpa's garden:

Could you just pinch those cheeks, or what?

"Look at my pretty dress!":

I just love this picture more than anything in the world:

My Smiley Magoo:

Maggie loves to play in the fountain at Auntie Lily's house:

~Sara

Puddles

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 10:41:00 +0000

Maggie's been getting better by the day since her surgery! We figured out that part of the reason she wasn't really eating is because she didn't like the pre-mixed formula we were offering her. (The company had sent us a "complimentary" case, and we were trying to use it up.) When we ran out, we went back to the powdered stuff we'd been giving her all along. Lo and behold, Peanut is back to taking 1-2 ounces per feeding by mouth! She was just trying to tell us the pre-mixed stuff was gross! (And I can't blame her, it really does smell worse than the powdered.)

Maggie has been great about trying new textures in her mouth. She shows interest in food when she sees other people eating. So far, her "repertoire" includes: cucumber, red pepper, green pepper, carrot sticks, cheezit, chocolate, crackers, watermelon, blueberry, strawberry and pretzels. She doesn't actually SWALLOW any of the food-- in fact, if a little tiny piece softens up and gets into her mouth, she wretches and gags. But it's a HUGE accomplishment that she picks the foods up, puts them into her mouth, and gums them for a while. Kids with oral aversion sometimes have NO desire to have anything in their mouth at all. I'm happy to see her try, even if she's not ready to actually eat.

Maggie is supposed to get four 4 ounce feedings during the day. She just seems uncomfortable afterwards, and we've seen her gag and wretch (both things the doctor told me were NOT okay). First, I thought we were running the feeding in too quickly. But even when we slowed it down considerably, she gets very uncomfortable at the end, so that leads me to think it's a volume issue. I summoned my nursing druthers, and decreased her feedings to 3.5 and she seems more comfortable. She is only missing 2 ounces from the grand total they would like her to get, which translates into 44 calories per day. My theory is that since she isn't throwing up anymore, and is actually eating some baby food puree, she is actually keeping in more calories NOW than before surgery. The scale will let us know when we see how much she has gained, I suppose.

We have been having a little trouble with the overnight feedings for the last 2 nights. We hook up the pump at 9pm, and Maggie gets about 13 ounces all night long. The extension tubing for the GTube has two ports: one for the feeding pump, and the other smaller one for medications. Well, the past 2 mornings, we have woken up to find Magoo sleeping in a puddle of formula. The small port somehow opens up and the pump doesn't know it, so it just keeps on pumping formula right into the crib! I had read that this happens, and knew it was almost inevitable, but the fact that it's happened two nights in a row makes me wonder if we are doing something wrong! I have wrapped the connection in a towel, in the hopes that it would help protect the port, but even that didn't work.

In Magoo's defense, she is what I would call an "active" sleeper. She never wakes up in the same spot I put her down in. She likes to sleep on her side, and rolls back and forth, and from tummy to back. She scoots up to the top of the crib in her sleep. It's actually really cute to watch, but that may be the cause of the port dislodging. Dan is going to call the surgeon's office once business hours hit, and I have reached out to the online micropreemie support group I belong to. There's got to be a way to fix this! I worry about the calories that she's missed these last two nights. Because the pump doesn't meet any resistance, it just keeps going, and who KNOWS how many ounces of formula are on the mattress instead of in Magoo's tummy? Dan started the feeding last night at 9. I checked the connection at 10:30 before going to bed. Dan checked it at 12:30 before he went to bed. All was fine. But sometime between then and 6am this morning...

Hopefully we'll be able to figure it out. It's just weird because we didn't have ANY problem for the entire first week!

Other than that, Maggie is her happy self. She has been extra clingy since the surgery. I sometimes feel like I can't pee, shower, or I don't know: LEAVE THE ROOM!!! It's been hard to be back at work-- she kind of lost it when she realized I was leaving yesterday morning. She also has been a little off her sleep schedule, and isn't napping as well as usual. I seem to be the only one who can get her to sleep. One night, Dan tried for a full 45 minutes, then I went up, and Maggie was asleep in 3.5 minutes! Who could blame her? I mean, I am an AWESOME mom, right? No, seriously, I think she's still a little traumatized from the surgery. The last thing she remembers, I handed her over to someone in blue scrubs, and she woke up in terrible pain! Of course she doesn't want me to leave, and doesn't want to go to sleep! She's afraid it will happen again!

(Shhh, don't tell, but there's a teeny part of me that secretly LOVES that she only wants me. I know it's twisted, but I kind of like it... shhhh!)

~Sara

Hershey Pictures

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:58:00 +0000

Click here to see the pictures from our few days spent at Hershey Medical Center for Maggie's surgery.

~Sara

Buh-Bye "Nose Hose"!!

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 18:57:00 +0000

We're home. I'm so sorry for being out of touch. I did bring my laptop to the hospital, but unfortunately there was no WiFi available! I hope you all didn't lose too much sleep worrying about us!

Friday morning, when we arrived at the hospital, we learned that the #2 case hadn't shown up (we were the #3 slot), so they were bumping us up. We checked in at admissions at 7:55am, and were in the pre op area by about 8:10am! I was thankful not to have to sit the the waiting area for long.

I do have to tell you about the funniest thing EVER-- Magoo on pre-op meds!!! The nurse gave her some medication through the NGTube to "help her relax", and Maggie got downright DRUNK!! She was giggling for no reason, had trouble sitting up straight, and was just overall a funny girl. It was actually nice to have a few moments of levity to balance out my anxiety.

It was hard to hand Maggie over at the OR doors. You all would have been proud, I only cried for a minute! It was a LONG 4 hours in the waiting room. I walked around the gift shop about 18 times. I read PEOPLE magazine. I watched endless hours of Michael Jackson coverage (no comment). The surgical liason called after about 2 hours to let us know that the surgeon reported everything going smoothly. Finally, Dr. Fagelman called from the OR to talk to me. Maggie was still waking up from anesthesia, he said, but everything had gone well.

I entered the PACU to find a wonderful angel of a nurse holding my Peanut. I sat in the rocking chair, and the nurse passed Maggie to me. She opened her eyes, and I think she knew it was me. She slept in my arms on and off, and then we were assigned our room. I was able to carry her up to Pediatrics from the PACU, and we sat in the recliner. The nurse came in and gave Maggie some IV Morphine, which seemed to help a little bit. She would drift in and out of sleep, but I think she was still in a fair amount of pain. My parents came up to see us, and one of the only ways we could distract Maggie was by letting her play with my diet Pepsi bottle (I didn't want to drink it anyway...)

Maggie fell asleep for the night around 10pm. She actually seemed more comfortable lying flat on the crib than in my arms. I felt badly that it took us that long to discover how to make her comfortable! Dan had planned to stay overnight at the hospital, but all of the parent beds were claimed, so he ended up driving home. I settled in for our first night at Hershey. I woke up with a start at about midnight. Maggie was SCREAMING! It was really scary. Anyone that knows Maggie, knows that she really doesn't cry. At all. Ever. She fusses and whines a little when she's tired, but rarely cries. So hearing such a piercing scream from her was really hard for me. I rang for the nurse, who came in with some Tylenol (we had since given up on the Morphine, as it didn't really seem to do anything but make Maggie loopy). When I looked at Maggie's belly, her umbilical incision was puffed up and felt hard. We could see bruising beneath the skin, and it was hot to the touch. The nurse agreed that it wasn't normal, so she paged the resident, who came up to see Maggie right away. He said that we should just keep an eye on it, and since Maggie had fallen to sleep from the Tylenol, he felt that the chance of a real problem was small.

The next morning, Maggie seemed a little better. She sat up in her crib for a few minutes, and I even managed to get half a smile out of her at one point. Over all, I think she was just really worn out and still in pain. We kept her medicated throughout the day, and she was able to sit with me for short periods of time. Auntie Maryann and Uncle Carl came for a visit, and Maggie was happy to see them!

On Saturday night, Dan claimed a parent bed, and planned to use it. They started Maggie's overnight feedings at a very slow rate, and she seemed to tolerate them well. I slept for about an hour, and just as Dan was going to leave the room to go to the parent room, Maggie again woke up screaming in pain. The nurse came in with Tylenol, and again assessed Maggie's belly. Her whole stomach was hard and hot, and we could feel air bubbles beneath her skin near the GTube. The nurse stopped the tube feeding. Despite the Tylenol, Maggie would NOT settle down. Something was clearly wrong. The nurse paged the resident, who came up and ordered a series of xrays (let me tell you, 2am stat xrays are NOT fun). Luckily, the xrays showed no leakage, no obstruction, and no bowel perforation. The resident ordered a laxative to help Maggie, as she hadn't pooped since Wednesday.

Sunday was a better day for Peanut. She began her bottle feedings, and was able to eat about an ounce at a time from the bottle. (We even gave her a first taste of a Hershey's chocolate bar-- seemed appropriate!) She still had intermittent pain, but not as bad as she had during the first 2 nights. She was smiling again, and playing a little bit with her toys. She slept alot of the time, since she was up most of the night. My parents rented a hotel room across the street from the hospital, and I was under STRICT instructions to go over and get some sleep. I was able to rest for about an hour and a half, which helped alot. I was a little jealous of Dan, that he would get to spent the whole night in that comfy king sized bed and a quiet room!! (It would have been wasted on me, though. We all know I wouldn't have been able to sleep away from Magoo!)

Monday morning, we got the okay for discharge. We FINALLY got home yesterday afternoon about 3pm. The medical supply company sent the feeding pump and supplies, and the nurse came to show us how to use it. Maggie was in bed for the night around 10pm, and the tube feeding was pretty easy to set up.

So far, the GTube hasn't been that big of a deal. It's essentially the same as the NGTube, but the formula tends to go in alot faster. We have to be careful that it doesn't go in too fast, or Peanut starts to get uncomfortable. The one difficulty I am having is coordinating the daytime feedings. The nutritionist prescribed a 10 hour overnight feeding via pump, and we are to give Maggie 4 feedings during the day of 4 ounces each. The problem is that she just isn't hungry in the morning, after being fed all night. The pump feeding finishes about 7am, and in order to get all 4 feedings in, I have to start at 8am! Well, she just finished eating an hour before-- of COURSE she's not hungry for another 4 ounces!!! That's been a little frustrating. Maggie hasn't taken ANYTHING by bottle since we got home. She went from taking 2 ounces from the bottle plus about an ounce or 2 of baby food to ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! It's hard not to get upset about this slide backwards, even though I knew it was probably going to happen. I know I just need to be patient. At this point, she's only 4 days out from surgery. Hopefully, as her stomach heals and begins to stretch again, her hunger will return, and we can get back on track with eating.

I am home with Maggie for the rest of the week, and I think we're just going to take it easy. Her schedule is completely off from being in the hospital, and I think her body is still tired from surgery. I have taken about a million pictures, now that we can see her face without tape. I promise to post them soon!

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your calls, emails, thoughts, and prayers. I hope this surgery is the beginning of good things for our Miracle Maggie. She sure deserves it!!

~Sara

A Prayer for Today

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 04:02:00 +0000

Believe Me Now
by Steven Curtis Chapman

I watch you looking out across the raging water,
So sure your only hope lies on the other side.
You hear the enemy that's closing in around you.
And I know that you don't have the strength to fight,
But do you have the faith to stand?

And believe Me now.
Believe Me here.
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear?
I am with you, and I am for you.
So believe Me now.
Believe Me now.

I am the One who waved My hand and split the ocean.
I am the One who spoke the words and raised the dead.
I've loved you long before I set the world in motion.
And I know all the fears you're feeling now,
But do you remember who I am?

Do you believe Me now?
Believe Me here.
Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear.
I am with you.
And I am for you.

So believe Me now.
Believe it's true.
I never have, I never will abandon you.
And the God that I have always been, I will forever be.
So believe Me now.

I am the God who never wastes a single hurt that you endure.
My words are true, and all My promises are sure.
So believe Me now.
Oh, believe Me now.

~Sara

Marian & Mist

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 20:58:00 +0000

Maggie and I went to my office today for lunch. She, of course, was happy to entertain the throng of admirers, and my friends were thrilled to spoil her rotten.

After lunch, my friend Radhi said, "Hey, you should go for a massage!" I hesitated, hemmed, and hawed. The girls all volunteered to watch Magoo, and put her directly to work on the computer and answering phones. Radhi said, "You should call. Better yet, I'll call for you!" Healing Hands had a 1:30pm opening with Marian. And it was decided.

Marian greeted me when I arrived, and asked if there was anything specific she needed to address. "Not really," I told her, "I just have alot of stress at the moment." I lay on the massage table, stiff as a board, counting the dots on the ceiling, still gripped by the fear of tomorrow's surgery. Marian dimmed the lights and I closed my eyes. Her cool hands smoothed the creases in my forehead, rubbed my temples, and relaxed my jaw.

I listened to the New Age music playing in the background, listened to the hum of the central air, listened to the sound of Marian's hands across my skin, listened to the sound of my own breathing.

I imagined the stress, dark and oppressive, leaving my body. It seeped from my pores, rolled over the edge of the table, and flowed onto the floor. It came in a big black mist, dissolving into the air. I imagined the worry, the fear, the anger, the resentment, and the sadness leaving my body with every stroke of Marian's hands. I felt my skin grow warm, and imagined a golden healing light taking the place of the toxic black mist.

I thought of my Maggie. The way her face looks right before she falls asleep in my arms. The way her smile lights up the whole room. The way her laugh sounds like music. I thought of the first time I held her, when she was 6 days old. My tiny, perfect, baby. My STRONG, FEISTY baby.

Marian kneaded my muscles, stretched them, relaxed them. I matched the rhythm with a new mantra: Strength, Hope, Peace. Strength, Hope, Peace. Strength, Hope, Peace. Strength, Hope, Peace. Strength, Hope, Peace.

There are times that I don't feel very strong. There are times when I am about 2 minutes from completely losing my mind. I spend most of my time worrying about Maggie, making decisions about Maggie, taking care of Maggie. I wonder, sometimes, when someone will take care of ME. Even though I am able to be Maggie's advocate, a mother lion protecting her cub, I feel very fragile much of the time.

I have said before that I will always soldier on for my girl. But even the toughest soldiers need to be taken care of sometimes. And, for now, the mist is gone. The war may not be over, but I will fight this battle, and win.

Tomorrow, when I hand Maggie over to the nurse who will take her to the operating room, I will look the mist in it's ugly face, kiss my STRONG, FEISTY baby and whisper: Strength, Hope, Peace.

~Sara

Meeting

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 02:00:00 +0000

Maggie threw up her tube tonight. The 4th time in 5 days. I should be convinced even more that this surgery is a good idea.... I think I would be, except for the conversation I had with Maggie's Feeding Therapist today.

"Did anyone tell you what it's going to be like after the surgery?"

Uh, no. Sorta thought there would be no puke and perhaps the Peanut would start to eat.

Evidently, I am in for wretching and dry heaving that comes out of nowhere. Purple-faced, watery-eyed wretching and probably a very unhappy baby. Probably a baby that will have lost the ground we gained over the last couple of months with all this therapy. Probably a baby who will be CONTINUOUSLY fed in the beginning, and then "hopefully" transitioning to an 8 hours on, 16 hours off schedule. It will take weeks. She will not want to eat. For weeks. "Hopefully" we will be able to get Maggie back on a 5 times per day "bolus" feeding, which is what we do now. "Hopefully" a nutritionist and the surgery team will determine Maggie's volume and calorie requirements before discharge so we sorta know what we're doing. "Hopefully".

But what is the alternative? Let her throw up half of her intake? Let her continue to gain only a couple ounces each month? Worry that the lack of nutrition will affect her motor skills, her communication skills, her cognitive ability? Not much of an option.

Jesus Christ, I simply cannot do this anymore.

Rock, meet Hard Place.

~Sara

Happy Father's Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 01:30:00 +0000

So poor Magoo threw up her tube this morning, which makes me ever the more ready for surgery on Friday. The fortunate part about tube changes is that it means a sqeaky-clean bathed baby, and some tube-free pictures! Here's the Peanut in her Father's Day Finest:

Sitting up like a big girl in her rocker:
Clapping for the camera:

Who's cuter than this????

~Sara

Frustration

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 02:23:00 +0000

I have some really neat Maggie video to share, and have been trying to download it for a few days, but it just won't work! I'm so frustrated!

The countdown to surgery has begun. 12 days. I know it will be here before I know it. At this point, I just want it to be over with.

Maggie's been trying to eat the last few days, but even her pureed baby foods are coming up. I feel so badly for her. I am more and more convinced that the Nissen is the right thing to do for her. I hope it helps keep her more comfortable, so she can learn that eating isn't always painful.

Otherwise, Maggie is doing wonderfully. She is sitting up by herself now, and plays with toys while sitting too! She is discovering more and more that she has legs and they are useful... the jumperoo that Auntie Beth bought her for her birthday is to blame! Maggie bounces all the time now, and is really doing nicely pushing with her legs. We've seen her try to scoot a little while on her tummy, and interestingly enough, she usually ends up going backwards. She is babbling all the time, claps her hands, waves hello, and bounces to music like she's dancing. She smiles nonstop, and I recently discovered that Little Peanut Face is a bit ticklish!

Hopefully, I'll get that video up soon. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen, and am just dying to share it with you. Thanks for checking in with us!

~Sara